The Incinerator Sunglasses - Fastest Shades Known

We asked ChatGPT to create the ultimate aero sunglasses. We kept asking to make them faster, faster, faster still! We're so pleased to share the results.

When you're moving so fast the laws of physics start to complain, only one pair of sunglasses can keep up. Enter The Incinerators. Sunglasses so fast, they don't sit on your face... they cling to your soul. Engineered with the same aerodynamics as a falcon strapped to a Ferrari, these shades slice through the atmosphere while you melt it behind you.

The lens? Pure plasma. The fit? Vacuum-sealed to your orbital bone. While your skin may be fighting a losing battle with terminal velocity, The Incinerators remain utterly unbothered. Ccool, calm, and collected like a cucumber in cryostasis.

You don’t wear these shades to look fast. You wear them because without them, you’d break the sound barrier with your eyelashes. They weren’t made for comfort. They were forged in the crucible of velocity, designed for cyclists who leave scorch marks on pavement and make tailwinds cry uncle.

Warning: Side effects may include time dilation, excessive podium finishes, and spontaneous applause from bystanders.

The Incinerators — for when your average speed is measured in warp factors.